I’ve discovered something in my fledgling drawing exercises…I love to draw. AND this discovery, which incidentally, I’ve known about all along but have ignored, is helping me to make sense of the world. I’ve always known that the minutiae exists and informs everyone’s perceptions , but I have never taken the time to really think about some of these phenomena and how I feel about life more concretely.
Earlier today, I was talking with my mom, and she remarked that I should have been born a child of the 60’s. She seems to think that I have the mindset of a flower child – yet – in my mind I’m still wound a bit tightly – more a child of the 80’s, lol. I was born in 1966 into a fairly conservative family that had certain expectations of its family members. It wasn’t all sunshine and puppies, but for the most part, I look upon my childhood with fond memories.
Parts of my adult life are another story and I was just discussing this with my husband this afternoon. About 3 years ago, we emerged from a really dark period in our marriage and I’ve found myself lamenting the years that were lost in our nearly 26 years of marriage. I know that this confession seems rather dark for this art blog, but it’s the truth and a part of who I am. As I approach 50 years of age, I am mourning the time that I’ve wasted and I also know how defeatist all of this sounds.
Meanwhile, I was thinking about my classmates from grad school who are working for prestigious landscape architecture firms. I once thought that I too would be working in the field, yet, I can’t imagine doing so now. I just want to make it clear that I don’t regret going to grad school for L/A. I do regret my motivations.